The Road back to Heaven

Hey hey is there anyone there?
You can't live alone right?
Yet the damage to you heart, is it worth it?

I've met some good friends recently, but you never truly know what the other person thinks of you.

My friend told me that in life, we should not be bothered too much by how people thinks of us but more of how you think of yourself.

Thats so true, I believe i have actually found a purpose in life after all.

Its either that or i live as a normal salaryman with no purpose in life.

Which comes to that, what is the purpose in life?

We always ask ourselves, but have we really truly asked ourselves and try to determine a road to take?

After all this while i learn that i am actually a very impatient and selfish person. Possibly thats why i have been losing all my friends.

Now is the time of self learning and understand if we are truly what we are meant to be, and we definately need to work hard to achieve something in this life which we do not understand

i tried to be cold i tried to ignore i tried to create some distance between us PHAIL BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 PHAIL BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111oneoneoneone *insert grindcore* /wrists /wrists /wrists /wrists /wrists /wrists /wrists aite that was just a joke the /wrists LOL well i'm actually looking forward to getting out of this warm and loving home and get back to my solitude, emo anime loving otaku life goes back to 1 life goes back to none life goes back to when i used to be free life goes back to 1 life goes back to fun life goes back to all the days i use to have~ in this world we live in all the things we believe in sometimes things dun go according to plan sometimes we feel pain to some its insane all the things we go through some of them no so true hmm *insert random hardcore grind shit* LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEE IS ALL ABOUTTTT MONEY1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its not good to be emotional
I can only say it though
someone please come along
and change the way i am


like a drug that never dissipate
like a poison that will never fade
like a maggot feasting in your brain
like a man obsessed with love

i'm not gonna lie or anything, i believe the only person to read this is you hanz lol
so anyway i think my blogs now i'll think of some lyrics-related kinda material
you never know if it can be used sometime nextime~

"I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye"

Quoted : Savage Garden - Affirmation

It has been a while, prolly, 6 months? and i'm restarting this blog
no reasons what soever but i feel like i should start keeping track of my life cos i have been lazing for a few months already.

firstly , lets update myself

Finish NS
Worked with hanz on some songs
Freelance for my uncle
Moving out soon~~

ok thats about it all

i'm gonna miss this place when i leave.. so many memories and feelings here
well one day we all have to let go yea..
aite its late, and i have 2 girls slping on my bed (minus me of course..)
lol i'll have to retire on this chair today..

ORD LO, seeing how i am more free now, i will update more oftens most probably, so for tonight, tata~

Ok hanz new song is done up~
now its time to think of the name of the song
write the lyrics, and record it down~

The band is dying man
due to NS partly
but whatever it is, i will still wanna make music as a living
even if i have to do it myself!
and whoever who is willing to follow me down the road to hell~~

ok yawnz,
camp sucks
its more like prison now
makes me prefer the strict but nicer CMR,
i mean, shit man, u give me a week to become good frens with a bunch of ppl whom i can't have any topics to talk about?
the ppl in my new camp are all muscle head weaklings man..
Nvm though, endure put on a social mask for 25 days to my 1 month leave~
then after that 6 months will go by quite fast..
meaning i need to finish my 4 target songs, hopefully b4 i ord
gonna be odd songs though
hopefully a song that fits one piece opening~
and a hellish song~
other 2 still pending...

Hanz intro me to carnivore.. a food for meat lovers
damn i'm like gonna try it this sat..
eat till i puke man!!!!!
wahaha can't wait for it...

damn i'm like digging kugimiya rie's voice ah
she does shana, louise, and nagi damn nice~
Hall Hail the Queen of Tsundere~~

gonna get my debit card soon..
then buy a underwater bag for ipod..
its swimming time~
leading to thiner face + thiner chin + lighter me + more handsome~~
then after NS i', considering purple hair and purple eyes~~ how will that look kana~~
purple or black will look nice?

why have i lost my music
i have not written anything for the past month le!!!!!!
damn

the new camp got alot of ppl dislike me~
i eat alone spent the time alone and get scolded alot
nice place~

do u believe in kama?
sometimesssssssssssssssssssssss
its scaryyyyy

yay, today i learned a few things~~


1.i've learned to hit hitomi no jyuunin~~
2.i've learn the link between my hunger pangs and my sleeping disorder
3.i learn that i need either a female or a very feminine good fren that i can talk to/with and watches anime too~~

lets elaborate~~!D
1.
i use to be able to hit the falsetto part only~~ after the falsetto the part HITOMI NI SUNDEITAAAA!!! that part was next to impossible in the past
now i can reach it !D simple sweet and tasty~

2.
this is interesting read, i read abt it while surfing the net for face lifting creams !D
well for this we need to learn of 1 hormone~
Orexin~~
what is orexin~

orexin is a hormone that promotes wakefulness
meaning it makes u FRESH~~ and not sleepy~
what has this gotta do with hunger pangs and sleeping disorder?
well , normal humans produce orexin regular and stably to balance between tiredness and genkiness
abnormal ppl like me~ with sleeping disorder Narcolepsy~
produces orexin at random and irregular intervals, thus making me slpy all of a sudden and genki the next~
oh yea
the more orexin u produce and hungrier u become
so therefore, at periods where i am more awake, i am hungrier than usual.. i notice its mostly at nights
thus explains my craving for food
now if u wanna say things like MIND OVER MATTER
well lemme know if u can stop the craving to fap or to even be attracted to someone cos its HORMONES yea
try to prevent ur pituatary gland from asking u to grow and try to stop ur dick from standing when u see a naked girl
if u can do that sucessfully, i will agree with mind over matter yea
anyways, i'm not saying because of this shit sickness that i use it to be an excuse for eating so much
but there is a reason why there are pills out there to inhibit this hormone for ppl to stop eating
of course u can always try to not eat when it comes but beware the side effects including like headach and weakness
lets quote from wiki
In fact, orexin/hypocretin-deficient narcoleptic patients have increased obesity rather than decreased BMI
orexin/hypocretin-deficient narcoleptic patients ======= ME
of course u can blantly deny this fact and say aiya science is bullshit just excuses
well if only u were me, cos i will like to be at the corner saying such stuff too , thats me, i like to  dig at people's inconveniences

3.
WHY FEMALE or FEMININE
cos
Melvin here is a beauty loving vain piece of **** who likes watching shoujo as well as seinen animes
therefore, i will want ppl who i can discuss beauty things to and that person is actually interested yea~
my gf is totally out cos she is so not interested~
my frens are guys, as in REAL MANLY kind guys who likes
cars, guns, bikes, any cool vehicles, robots, big big robots, guns again, bigger guns, war, soccer, espionage, spies, etcetc
whereas melvin is
cars, guns, bikes, any cool vehicles, robots, big big robots, guns again, bigger guns, war, soccer, espionage, spies, etcetc
but OF COURSE its not their fault at all lol, i'm the weird and odd one outta it yea
but i'm sure i'm a guy cos i love GIRLS(epecially anime loli girls that are underdeveloped), a common trait among guys~~~!D
which guy will talk to u abt stuff like
which whitening solution is good, which guy gets to be with which girl(anime), which hair product is good~~ so on so forth~~

of course, the fact tat i cannot find any means that i'm tokubetsu~ special da~
(u can come and find me to talk abt, loli girls, swords, dragons, magic, music, blah blah)

PS, i have great frens by my side especially everyone from the band~
so no complains of that~
its not their fault that the topic i talk abt is boring~ its just that i'm boring T_T(kusu kusu kusu)
demo daijoubu~ i have my imaginary female loli harem following me wherever i go to~ so i can talk to them abt it~~
and ppl ard me will think i'm mental~~~~

next entry~
number 1 type of loli girl i like~
in details~~ wahaha
another post that no one will be interested in LOL